| | I can't seem to remain stable in anything I do. This could prove to be a huge problem.
Side Note: I heart Frank Sinatra. I think he reminds me of black and white lives... and champagne. Everything I'd always want in my head. You know, I like to listen to Sinatra when I'm cooking.
I'm beginning to think that every person at some time or another feels worthless. Are we all just striving to be necessities? Everyone approaches the solution to his worthless-ness in a different way too. Some people try to make themselves physically attractive---by dieting, working out, buying and applying insanely large amounts of make-up and topical creams, succumbing to plastic surgery, imbibing nasty protein shakes, taking stereoids, performing ritualistic "makeovers", and in some extreme cases, becoming the victim of an eating disorder. Other people cultivate a sense of intellect within themselves... constantly reading, learning, debating, thinking, putting the world in technological, scientific, or philosophical terms, and religiously involving themselves in political activism. Still others attempt to find their hidden talents. These people sing, play instruments or sports, act, dance, climb social ladders, create art, and volunteer.
I can't imagine a world without any of them.
I can see why people want to point to others and say,
"They aren't as beautiful as I am."
"They aren't as intelligent as I am."
"They aren't as gifted as I am."
To be honest, I fall with every single one of them, so I know their troubles and strengths. It's hard to make your life the product of jealousy, but that's what I've done in so many ways. I look at others and think of how horrible I am compared to them, how far I have to go before I can finally say "I AM more beautiful, intelligent, and gifted." The problem therein lies with the fact that I can never say that. It's a broken system, and we're all breaking.
~Emily
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| | Posted 2/25/2006 12:25 PM - 19 Views - 12 eProps - 9 comments
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